Thursday, July 26, 2012

Confessions of a former Consumer Analyst - Marketing Director

Advertising in this consumer-driven world is POWER!

As a former Consumer Analyst for a big advertisement firm, dumbing down the masses in America has been my primary goal. It's my JOB to make people dumb! When people's emotions become irrational, and their actions more mindless, it's the big corporations who profit from the public's ignorance. We CAN NOT let you use your intellect in making practical decisions for the long-term. That would be foolish of us. We WILL lower your IQs, and make you a drone to our consumerist society. For instance, we can make smoking feel cool - regardless of the health implications - by promoting ads that display a desirable emotional state in which people express liberation and edge. It's the same technique we use to get people to salivate for fatty burgers, even if it makes them O-BEAST; or to buy that new expensive car, even if it will depreciate.

American society once produced products for our "needs", now it's for our "perceived wants." Here's how we're dumbing down America, and making them a slave to their desires and material wants:

  • We realize that people are not "free" - they are deterministic beings driven by physiological needs to survive. They are also social beings driven by psychological needs to belong. As such, as long you feel insecure, anxious, ugly, fearful, fat, marginalized, etc., then we are able to sell you products to relieve those feelings. The kicker here is, we ourselves - as advertisers - induce these negative emotional states into the consumer! We MAKE you feel inadequate and self-conscious. Fat? Try our weight lose products or you WILL be ridiculed by everyone! Big nose? Try our new rhinoplasty nose surgery because NO ONE can love someone that ugly! Though these products provide short-lived happiness, you will buy them anyhow because everyone else has succumb to it...and you don't want to feel alone now, do you? 
  • Speaking of that, we realize our ads do not need to convince YOU specifically. As long as others succumb to it, they will do the preaching for us. Preaching kindness, compassion and equality are all good for religious purposes, but not for corporate profits. Thus, we encourage Americans to be ignorant and mock those who are different. "Dang, look at her wearing that dollar store shirt. She needz a new wardrobe" Or "You're still using that cheap-@ss phone?! Dude, you're sooo out of the loop!"  The more you point at, laugh, and make stereotypical jokes of different values,  lifestyles, cultures, and beliefs, the more it will make them feel ashamed and insecure. This allows us to exploit their negative emotional state by creating services and products to alleviate their feelings and make them feel accepted.
  • We also realize that given the right tools and education, people are able to escape out of the consumerist bubble. Therefore, we promote ridicule of others not just on the physical level, but also educational. We want you to make fun of those who speak eloquently; those who sit and ponder about the origins of the universe, the purpose of human nature. Come on, aren't those people "weird" and boring? They question life and society so much that they rarely shop or watch mindless TV (aka 'Tell Lie Vision'). Therefore, if you reject those people, you won't become them, and instead, you will become consumerist slaves who can't think for themselves. We want you to "buy, buy, buy" not "think, think, and think." For instance, we hired Marketers to preach that if you study on the weekends, you are a loser and need to go out more - spend money and get drunk!
Phrases that we want to popularize among the youth in order for them to be brainless consumers are:

"Damn bro, you need to get OUT more!" (as in going out to buy more beers and shop)

Shiat dawg, u been studyin' math all day - all them numbers. What a loser!  Fk'n Nerd ass punk!" (we discourage the study of mathematics and science since they promote critical/logical thinking skills)

"Hahaha - man, you dress like someone from the 80's! I get my clothes from Hot Topic and American Eagle" (we discourage people from being consumer savvy and budget conscious).

"How'd you manage to gather all these clips to make that youtube video? You have waaaaaaayyyyy too much free time dude." (we look down on people who do not utilize their free time on garbage entertainment. Time spent away from mass media and on individual creative works should be considered a waste).

"WTF is this Peace Corp for humanity you are joining crap? F- that shiat dawg, I'm making real dough!" (we want young Americans to skip college and be driven to succeed by pure money instead of joining and volunteering for non-profit humanitarian organizations).

"Damn, you never heard of Lady Gaga? Been living under a rock or something? It's all over T.V. Hellooo!" (we want the youth of our nation to conform into society's norm of 'garbage entertainment.')
  •  We want businesses and politics to become ONE. Both entities working together have more power to dumb down the masses; In a sense, we both create false needs (HOPE and CHANGE) and please the public by satisfying this illusory need for them (YES WE CAN!). In order for the Government to take control of the masses, they work with business executives who promote "garbage entertainment."  Brain-dead, but addicting, reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, American Idol, Real House Wives keep the masses passively glued to their computer and Tell Lie Vision sets. When people are too busy writing their snarky reviews on the latest series of Twilight (or spend the majority of their time online viewing entertainment sites), it is easier for the Government to manipulate crucial events that effect them. We want people to be more interested in issues within their entertainment bubble. That way, they can remain indifferent, even ignorant, of real world political issues that effect them. By limiting their perception, we CAN control them. 
  • In a global economy, we want young Americans to study anything that is consumer driven. We discourage young Americans to study science, technology, engineering and math (STEM). To do so, we pass legislation to outsource high-level jobs requiring intense analytical skills. In addition, we import scientists/engineers from China, Korea, and India for cheap labor (H1B). As a result, young Americans will lack the motivation to study science. They will become profit driven business owners, unethical marketers and advertisers, greedy financial analysts, public relations advisers, and liberal arts majors. More so, we want college kids to drink, party, and shop A LOT! As they enter the work force, they will find jobs that encourage the masses to be the same - a slave to their desires.
As Bush has once said post 9/11 "I've been told that some fear to leave; some don't want to go shopping for their families; some don't want to go about their ordinary daily routines because, by wearing cover, they're afraid they'll be intimidated. That should not and that will not stand in America."

Remember, we can always count on you being a slave to your inner desires and emotions. WE ARE THE ADVERTISERS OF THE 21ST CENTURY!

[Update (10/08/2012): The obvious question to ask now is 'So what?' 'Who cares?' Those who are vigilant are well aware that government and business entities utilize subliminal messages to influence the masses. Sadly, society as a whole will choose to remain passive consumers; they would rather follow their favorite reality stars than engage in activities that will increase their intellect and benefit humanity.

However, just because it's common sense to you doesn't mean you should be smug and dismiss its irrelevance to you. Society's overall indifference and ignorance DOES affect us all -- including the vigilant. Please check out these posts to understand 
(1) the deadly implications of mass media's influence on society:
Part 1 (Mass Massacres): Examining the Psychology and Sociology Behind Individuals who Commit Them
and (2) solutions to combat it:
Part 2 (Mass Massacres): Society Plays the Blame Game While Perpetrators Blame Society Itself ]

Film Recommendations: Century of the Self, Idiocracy, Branded, Metaphysia 2012, Zeitgeist: the Movie \\


  1. If former consumer analysts slash marketing directors are this arrogant and adept at rationalizing their actions I wonder how much worse current ones are? What a self-destructive agenda you have purported here. Too bad really, marketing can be use for something far more interesting and sustainable than selling useless products. Carry on, the world you and your kind have created will burn soon enough, as you have so graciously provided the kindling and the flame.

  2. Fuck you. The only things I live for are my music, the best food I can find, making love to my woman and yes I will drink with my friends.

    I haven't watched television for years and 99.999% of the clothes I wear have no visible brand marking. I don't smoke and only use public transport.

    I am an atheist/humanist and try to be as good a person as I can everyday. Also my most cherished topic of conversation is the big picture, why we are here and how to appreciate life without succumbing to scum like you.

  3. Everybody should watch this documentary: CENTURY OF THE SELF

    It's about the origins of this type of mass manipulation. The man who founded Public Relations himself (Edward Bernay) even admits in that documentary that people can be easily manipulated and he consciously set out to control them through advertisements. "He felt this manipulation was necessary in society, which he regarded as irrational and dangerous as a result of the 'herd instinct'"

  4. I think your message is very important, but unless you put on a real name, and make yourself responsible, I don't believe you are actually a real former executive. But rather I suspect you yourself is a deceiptful person promoting your own agenda.

    What is your a name, and for which company did you work?

    Kjartan Martin Johannesen


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